leo charre

Burning in water, drowning in flames.
Originally printed as a collection of Bukowski’s poems in 1974.
My copy is a 2005 print.
I was very relieved to see that- because I’ve gotten all kinds of oil paint all over it.
I paint, I smoke, I pause, I read some sad ol poem.

In the copyright section ( this is before credits or preface- I’m talking where the library of congress data shows ) …
“The author would like to thank the National Endowment for the Arts for a grant on which the poems in the final section of this book were written.”
I read that and it gave me goosebumps. The kind that you get when you read Martin Luther King Jr’s Letter from Birmingham Jail, or look into the eyes of your lover as they cum.
The NEA. . wow.. they picked well- those fuckers.
Really? They made it possible for him to write this stuff? One of the few things in life that give me a hug when there’s no one to do it- and it was made possible by the fucking United States Government. The same fellas who take your money at the end of the year.
By goodness- this is why I love this country so much. Even though there’s so much guilt to hate it for- This is deffinately why I love this society. Because of things like this.

The budget for the NEA is currently $155 million. It had been “slashed” to $99 million during the late 90s. Conservatives. Motherfuckers. Ignorant cocksuckers- It’s shit that these fuckers hate that keeps losers like me ticking through the years- and paying taxes. So you can have your .. anyhow. It’s useless to say more.

I’m thankful that people like Bukowski had the balls to become themselves- when they had no one to cheer them on. I guess we all are.
Maybe people who do this- who make those decisions- Maybe sometime- next time someone goes through the fear, the stigma- the loneliness, the hunger, the self doubt- Maybe sometime- they may also consider the possibility- no– *the certainty*- that others need what you are doing. We need you to become yourself.
Perhaps to comfort us through our own clumsy attempts.